NOTE: This article is transcribed from the keynote session originally taught at the CHBC Parenting Seminar in 2020.
by Carter Brown and Mike Tully
Eva migrated with her family from Mexico to Chicago in the early 1980s. She was a young child at the time and so as she became immersed in American culture through school and friends, she learned English pretty quickly while her parents did not. And so at a young age she began doing something known as “Language Brokering” where children of non-English speakers serve as the primary translators of language and culture for their parents. She would do small things like help her mom find items at the grocery store and then more significant things like filling out legal documents and then interpreting for a parent-teacher conference where the teacher was trying to communicate that Eva’s sister needed to be held back a year.
Eva’s story is very similar to hundreds of thousands of immigrant children around the world. Because she lived with her parents and could translate for them when they needed it, they did not progress in their ability to speak English – the learning curve was just too steep – and so her role as translator continued through high school and into college and even after college when she moved to California and started a family of her own – she would still talk on the phone and help her parents sort out legal forms (and a case of identity theft).
There have been a lot of studies on the effects of Language Brokering in immigrant families. It’s shown that very frequently there is a role reversal. As a result of this role reversal, with the parents being dependent on the children to understand and navigate the culture, the parents are at the mercy of the children’s interpretation. Their understanding of what is going on is completely dictated by what their children are capable of articulating – or what they choose to articulate.
I think you can probably see where I’m going with this. As parents, when it comes to technology, we must learn the language.
We need to be just as fluent, if not more fluent, than our kids in the “language” of technology.
I understand what I’m saying. I understand how difficult that is. It is an exceptionally steep learning curve! Meanwhile, our kids are immersed in it and constantly learning more. And even if you were to learn everything about technology and social media today, it becomes outdated rapidly.
But it’s possible. And it’s important because of the inherent dangers to our families and to the healthy development of our children. It’s possible. But it’s hard work.
On the way to that goal, I want to give you a few ways to think about technology from a biblical standpoint.
Now at first this might seem like a little bit of a problem. The theology of technology – what the Bible says about iPhones? Or Instagram? Or screen time? … does not amount to a lot because the vast majority of technology that we use did not exist when the Bible was written. But anyone who’s read Ecclesiastes knows that there’s nothing new under the sun. And while modern technology is, well, modern – as long as there has been humans there has been technology and so the Bible does actually speak a lot about it.
Tool vs. Master
Genesis 1:28-31
28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 29 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
God created everything with a certain order. There’s an order to everything. Humans, plants, and animals. Husbands and wives. Everything was designed by an orderly God to fit in a certain order and role. Not because God is repressive or constraining but because when things fulfill the role they were designed for, people find more joy and fulfillment. And so within this model of things having an order and a role, we see the roles of tool and master. The master has endowed us with characteristics and attributes that reflect His glory: insatiable curiosity to understand all that God has created, a thinking mind, and inventiveness – we can shape basic material into tools and become master over those tools. The master has authority over the tool and uses it to accomplish tasks. The human master uses tools to subdue the earth and have dominion. Tools are the things we use to maintain the order established in the first chapter of the Bible. How do you have dominion over fish? You make boats and nets and fishing poles. How do you have dominion over plants? You use spades and shovels and promote healthy plant growth.
We were designed to be masters, exerting dominion over the world through the use of tools. Which means that technology was created by man but inspired (revealed) by God. The toaster, spade, plow, flu vaccine, computer, phone, pencil, saddle, printer, light bulb are all good gifts from God. The tools we use glorify Him in our heavenly charge to “subdue the earth and have dominion” over it, that is to take earth’s natural resources and develop and cultivate those resources for the good of man and the glory of God. We see this in Scripture:
Humans use tools to create practical and beautiful things.
1 Samuel 13:19-21
Now no blacksmith could be found in all the land of Israel, for the Philistines said, “Otherwise the Hebrews will make swords or spears.” So all Israel went down to the Philistines, each to sharpen his plowshare, his mattock, his axe, and his hoe.
Isaiah 44:13Another shapes wood, he extends a measuring line; he outlines it with red chalk He works it with planes and outlines it with a compass, and makes it like the form of a man, like the beauty of man, so that it may sit in a house.
A master can use a tool to exert his authority.
Exodus 21:6
then his master shall bring him [his slave] to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently.
Technology is a tool we can use for the glory of God. And modern technology is no exception to that. Smartphones and the internet and social media and texting are all, at their most basic level, tools that we have the opportunity to harness and use to accomplish tasks. Technology is a gift of God.
But humans have a way of taking the gifts of God and distorting them. And the same is true here. And what can happen is that the tool becomes the master. When the tool becomes the master, it is disorder. It’s an inappropriate reversal of the created order.
So how does our modern technology become our master?
Let me give you an example. Think about notifications on your phone. This tool was designed to “notify” the master whenever certain events happen: get a text message, an email, need a reminder, etc. The tool does this job very well. The master is happy. But there is at some level “satisfaction” of “knowing”: someone just texted me – what did they say? Someone just liked my post – who was it? We like that satisfaction. Over time we crave that satisfaction: someone “noticed me”; someone “needs” me. We grow to LOVE this satisfaction and feeling of “I am someone”.
When the notification happens, we are so enthralled with being noticed or needed, that the notification shape shifts in our corrupted mind into a demand and the demand becomes irresistible. A tool demands nothing of the master (besides maybe some focused discipline) – otherwise it just complies. When the tool begins making demands the “good” tool has become the master.
Isa 10:15
Shall the the axe boast over him who hews with it, or the saw magnify itself against him who wields it? As if a rod should wield him who lifts it, or as if a staff should lift him who is not wood!
Check out Jonathan Davis’s article about how we can introduce our children to these tools at age appropriate levels so they are less likely to become their masters and more able to learn to “wield” them.
When the roles are reversed and the tool becomes the master, it corrupts a lot of things, not the least of which is our parenting. When the tool is your master, and you can’t help but submit to it, you communicate something to your kids. When I’m playing with my daughter and my phone vibrates and I can’t help but check it, I’m communicating to her that this is more important to me than her. It is subverting any good parenting I might be doing by spending time with her.
Similarly, when we allow the tool (that we could use to enhance our parenting) to become our master, then it begins to parent our children instead of us. What is one of the best ways to keep a child still and quiet? A screen. An iPad with a movie or show. So what are we often tempted to do in any scenario where we need (or want) our child to be still and quiet? When we’re in the waiting room at the doctor and it’s taking awhile and our child is growing impatient? Give them the iPad. When we’re driving in the car and they want to get out? Give them a device. When we’re at a restaurant waiting for our food to arrive? Give them a device.
There’s a fine line between using an iPad or phone as a tool to help you parent your children in specific circumstances and allowing the iPad to be the parent because it is much better at engaging your children and keeping them still than you are.
And where that line is drawn is something you as the parent need to decide. I’m not here to tell you not to give your kid an iPad in the waiting room. That may be very appropriate in your specific context. What I’m asking you to do is to honestly, truly consider whether you are using technology as a tool or whether it has become your master, making you (and your kids) more dependent on it and slavish to it, even when you’d prefer not to.
Producer vs. Consumer
We were created in the image of a producing God and called to be productive
Genesis 1:27
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Genesis 2:15
The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
Matthew 28:19-20
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
We are designed to be productive, working image-bearers. And as we saw in the last section (Tool vs. Master) technology is a gift of God that allows us to be productive. Technology helps us reflect the image of God more fully (think about that for a second). The invention of the printing press allowed humans to mass produce copies of God’s Words and spread it to the whole world. Vehicles and airplanes and video chat and google translate and online banking have all served to help humans be more productive and increased our ability to subdue the earth and communicate the love of God to all nations. This is one of technology’s greatest benefits.
Now, while we’re designed to be producers primarily, we are also called to be consumers. But Scripture is clear that we are to be consumers of specific things:
Philippians 4:8-9
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Matthew 5:6
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
When we take rest from our production, it is so that we can consume edifying, life-giving things. Things that prepare and equip us to continue being productive for the Kingdom of God.
But just like the tool and the master, our broken tendencies combined with the endless amount of consumable material provided by modern technology can often cause our fruitful activity to get out of whack. We are less productive because we are so frequently pausing our productivity to mindlessly consume media [and other “good” things but out of balance] that at its best is unhelpful and at its worst is dangerously destructive.
There have been documented impacts of “screen time” on attention, memory, problem-solving, creativity, and impulse control. Teens are expressing higher rates of depression and loneliness the more time they spend on devices.
“Kids who have more stimulating experiences that organize the brain (reading, oral conversations, creative playing) are at a huge advantage when they get to school and it’s really harder and harder for kids to catch up if they arrive behind.” Reading & Literacy Discovery Center of Cincinnati’s Children’s Hospital
What’s more, when this “productive” tool is used more for lazy consumption, it can be addictive. Addictions waste time and destroy productivity. Technology is hyper-arousing and raises dopamine levels (“feel-good nuerotransmitter”) as much as sex. I mentioned above about parents giving their children a device to keep them quiet. Studies show that this “withdrawal” from parent-child interactions then causes higher technology use, higher consumption levels by the child which may influence more withdrawal behaviors over time and aggravate developmental issues. It’s a brutal cycle.
In addition, the online world a child-device user is attached to is dangerous. It is not an innocent fun area but a hyper-sexualized world where validation, acceptance and worth are inexorably connected to sexual appeal and appetite.
One of the most dangerous side effects of technology facing your children is pornography and sexually charged media. Check out the survey we conducted about how to have conversations with your kids about these things.
Spiritual disciplines are declining because of this material. Our consumption of this material causes shame and conviction. These kill our communion with God. So “hedges” are necessary. Be intentional and wise and build “protections”, “obstacles” to prevent temptation in our personal lives and the lives of our children.
Worship vs. Idolatry
We were created to be worshipers.
Revelation 22:9
but he said to me, “You must not do that! I am a fellow servant with you and your brothers the prophets, and with those who keep the words of this book. Worship God.”
Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Mankind was created to be worshipers. And all people worship something. The question is, are we worshiping what we’re supposed to be worshiping? Lots of things divert our worship away from God and toward ourselves.
R. C. Sproul writes, “Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God.”‘
Technology can often be very effective at pulling us away from worshiping God. Much of technology’s pull toward that corruption and idolatry is the corrupting sense of power and self-worth, self-importance that it gives to its user. But if that same technology can be used to help us see the majesty of God, it can, does, and will continue to reshape the world. [think of missions and the spread of the Word electronically and in print … all great technologies helping people understand the majesty of God.]
Technology is not essentially sinful. It is amoral, but its use can be perverted. Tech has the potential for both hope and horror, but man provides the intent. And if the intent is wrong, it becomes dangerous.
When other things take the place of God as the thing we worship the most, our understanding of God shrinks. When this happens, success is redefined in our hearts and in our homes. When our worldview is defined through the lens of worship of the one true God (“Desiring to reflect the glory of God in all things”) then success is when we do that. When we lose sight of that for an idol of acceptance or popularity or comfort or whatever other lie your device is tricking you to think it can provide – when that is our primary focus then “success” is something else.
Which then means that pursuit is reoriented. Think of teens leaving the home. What do we want them to be pursuing with the rest of their lives? Is that what we’ve been modeling to them while they were in the home? If we have modeled that “success” is being “connected” virtually as often as possible then we may not be surprised when they don’t prioritize being connected to the local, physical church.
The idols we entertain today may be the gods our children serve tomorrow.
When our worship paradigm is off kilter, everything else crumbles quickly. Technology must be harnessed and used to promote worship of the God of the Bible or it will quickly take the reins and demand our worship elsewhere.
Learn the Language
If we are going to help our kids live God honoring lives in an ever changing world, we must learn the language of technology. It’s hard work – but it’s worth it!