by Pastor Jeff McCourt
My daughter serves regularly in the children’s ministry at her church, caring for preschoolers while their parents attend worship. Her church meets in a high school, so each week they go through an extensive process of set up and tear down. Of all the things you’d expect a church to invest in for a children’s room – tables, chairs, room dividers, teaching materials, fun activities – I find it wonderfully instructive that they’ve chosen to invest in one particular banner. It’s a banner that lists the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) – “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
What’s so special about this banner? When a volunteer is correcting a child, they’re able to point to a specific fruit of the Spirit and talk with the child about how their attitude or behavior has not lined up with God’s good desires for His children. This gives the teachers Biblical categories to use in the context of training and discipling children.
I think that’s a great approach for a Sunday school class. But it’s an even better approach for parents as they seek to bring up their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Whether parents would use the “virtue lists” found in Galatians 5 (the fruit of the Spirit) or Romans 12 or Matthew 5 or Ephesians 4 – OR CONVERSELY, the “vice lists” in Galatians 5 or Mark 7 or Colossians 3 or 2 Timothy 3 – there are good reasons to correct children using Biblical categories and Biblical language. Here are 4 . . .
1) It gets below merely addressing outward behavior and deals with deeper issues of heart, character, and desire. Jesus continually taught about the importance of “inside-out holiness.” He recognized that the Pharisees were flawless in their outward religiosity. But Jesus found fault with their hearts, with their inward motivation. “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me” (Matt. 15:8). Similarly, Paul couched his ethical instructions in relation to fleshly desire and motivation, not simply observable behavior. So before instructions about godly outward actions in Ephesians 4:25-32, Paul sets up those instructions with teaching about the inner life: “their minds . . . understanding . . . ignorance . . . hardness of heart . . . your old self . . . deceitful desires” (Eph. 4:17-23). Helping your little Suzie see that behind her whining (which you’re eager for her to stop!) is impatience or lack of self-control or an absence of joy, begins to get at shaping her heart in Christlikeness.
2) It gives parents Biblical fuel and fodder for encouragement. God’s Word, after all, is given to us for more than simply reproof. It was “written for our instruction, that through . . . the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope” (Rom. 15:4). So just as the fruit of the Spirit provides solid categories for correction of undesirable behavior, it also provides helpful categories for reinforcement of Christlike behavior. So beyond thanking your little Johnny simply for tolerating his sister, encouraging him for his love or kindness or goodness towards her feeds his soul.
3) It gives parents Biblical grounds for confession. When we’re convicted for our lack of patience or gentleness or self-control (Galatians 5:22) or our expressions of bitterness or wrath or anger (Ephesians 4:31), we have an opportunity to model the desire for inner change we seek in our children. “I’m sorry for my angry words today. My impatience with you showed me how selfish my heart is. I’ve asked Jesus to forgive me for not loving Him or loving you like I should. Will you forgive me?”
4) It sets the table for explaining and understanding the Gospel. Parents and kids alike are prone to think, “Adam and Eve ate an apple and now we have all this brokenness and violence and selfishness in the world. And it’s just because of an apple? What’s the big deal with that?!” But, if parents and kids alike are able to see that underneath an outward sinful action is galactic treason, idolatry, a desire to be my own god, a despising of God’s word (Isaiah 1:4), or an embrace of the wicked world system (I John 2:15-17), then our need for the Gospel becomes obvious. And subsequently, our love for the Savior is heightened.
So whether you literally purchase a “fruit of the Spirit” banner to put up in your living room (or create wall posters or make up some flash cards), or simply begin to instruct your children using Biblical language, raising the banner of heart-deep Christlikeness in the eyes of your children raises the stakes from merely modifying outward behavior to inward transformation.