Despite the best intentions, we all often fail to have intentional conversations with our spouse about our relationship and goals.
To help with that, we’ve created this Marriage Check-in Guide to help couples have intentional conversations about their relationship. It’s designed to be done monthly (the questions focus on “last month” and “next month”) but may work better bi-monthly or quarterly for some couples.
Click here to see what couples from CHBC are saying about this Marriage Check-in Guide!
Rules of Engagement
- Prepare ahead of time. Schedule a time to do this when you will not have distractions or other responsibilities. Think through your answers before sitting down with your spouse.
- Don’t shut down. Be open to were the discussion leads, even when it comes to difficult or tough conversations.
- Be compassionate, both in your speaking and listening.
- Be prayerful. Pray for this check-in leading up to it. When it is over, spend intentional time with your spouse praying about the things you talked about (before returning home).
During this Marriage Check-in, you’ll discuss 4 overarching categories:
- Personal Reflection on Last Month
- Relationship Reflection on Last Month
- Personal Goals for Next Month
- Relational Goals for Next Month
1. Personal Reflection on Last Month
Guiding Questions:
- What could I have done better?
- What was I proud of?
- What’s causing me concern or stress?
- What is God teaching me or reminding me about himself?
2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month
Guiding Questions:
- What’s one little thing we noticed about each other that we love?
- What’s one thing about your spouse that they could improve on?
- Are you satisfied with our current rhythms of family discipleship/family worship?
3. Personal Goals for Next Month
Guiding Question:
- What do I want to achieve over the next 4 weeks?
(This is helpful for prioritization and accountability.) - How can my spouse pray for me this month?
4. Relational Goals for Next Month
Guiding Questions:
- What do we want to prioritize in our family this month?
- How do we want to pursue one another?